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Archive for May, 2011


TGIGF (Thank God It’s Gay Friday)

#1 is still sick. I no longer have tolerance for the sickness, or the whiny clinginess it brings with it. Or the lack of sleeping brought on by intense whining. Did I mention the whining? Seriously.

Dragged my drugged-and-therefore-less-feverish kid to an outdoor eatery during our 20 minutes of sunshine in the last seven or so days. She ate three bites of a hot dog and a ridiculous amount of blueberries, so I’m calling it a success. There was less whining during that time, also.

Tonight’s Agenda involved finding all living room surfaces and rescuing them from copious amounts of Dora and Princess books, markers and scissors, pictures of “dinosaur bones,” High Five magazines, baby socks, burp cloths, straw wrappers, cat fur, and a budding rock collection. Did you know the coffee table is made of wood? Actual wood, you can even SEE it.

They have been in bed for several hours and it is Friday night, and that means one thing: Gangland marathon on Spike.



There needs to be wine on the Gay Agenda.

There has been sickness in my house for a week now, and #1 has had a fever for five days. They can’t really determine why, but it has to end soon. If you had told me when she threw up on Sunday that we might miss a kids’ birthday party the following Saturday, I wouldn’t have believed it. Yet it’s true, I’m scared we won’t make it.

I am trapped alone in a house with two sleeping littles and all I want is a glass of wine, but no one loves me enough to deliver.



On Tuesdays, I go to work. I work a shorter work day, and leave at 2:30 to pick up #1 from school. But I cram a bazillion hours of work into that time which usually makes my head spin. In fact, I should be doing paperwork right now. Whoops, I need to get on that.

Got a call at 2:15 that #1 had a fever and had to be picked up. Good thing I was leaving anyway, right? Why those last 15 minutes mattered is beyond me, but I dutifully left, because that’s how I roll in the world of rule-following. That means she can’t go to school tomorrow. Quality.

After work I doped her with ibuprofen and added tylenol for #2, who is a cranky bear that I suspect is on the cusp of some teeth in addition to his half-birthday. Meds all around, woo hoo! Plopped #1 in front of some mindless children’s programming, including Scooby Doo which makes her feel cool and makes me feel old.

I did lots of lame-ass chores tonight, like folding laundry and washing diapers and writing thank-you notes and cleaning a giant baby shampoo spill in the bathroom. Lots. Of. Bubbles.

Did I mention I still have paperwork to do? It is 10:42pm and I am never going to sleep, and if tonight is anything like last night, it’s gonna be brutal. Oy.


The Gay Agenda has been on the down low because, truth be told, the Agenda has contained nothing but puke and other gastro nastiness for every member of this household since Friday at noon. Everyone will be home from school tomorrow and hopefully the worst has passed.

Aren’t you glad you know?


Went to work. My schedule was all kinds of effed up because of things out of my control. At least it’s only for this week, because I don’t get paid if I don’t get to do my job. Makes sense, right?

Work is sandwiched by the Dropping Off of the Children and the Picking Up of the Children. Today also involved stopping for gas during the morning commute. OUCH.

My brother is visiting and he wanted to have Pizza Night, and really, who says no to Pizza Night? Not this Gay.

Tonight’s Agenda involved an ice cream cookie sandwich. Someday the Agenda should involve dieting but I really really suck at dieting.


This past Saturday was the local Pride Festival.

So I actually did something pretty gay.

We walked with the local animal shelter. #1 and I passed out Milk-Bones to nearby onlookers of the canine persuasion.

Pushing the Gay Agenda, one dog at a time.


I don’t work on Mondays.

I dropped #1 off at school and my brother (who is in town) and I picked up donuts and coffee for breakfast. Except I had a muffin, and I’m sure you could make a Gay Joke about that.

I did dishes. And cleaned the kitchen. And folded and put away Tiny Kid Clothing Items. Also did Grown-Up Laundry.

Then we went into town for lunch, which was nice. #2 was in a Pleasant and Jubilant Mood, as usual.

After preschool pick-up, we all went to the park and #1 needed to start a Rock Collection. This is Very Important Work. Last year, it was acorns.

I made dinner. It involved Sausages and Peppers. It also involved onions but I don’t eat those, because they are Very Nasty.

And that’s how we roll on Monday.

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